i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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