dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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