I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize
