No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
