I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
