Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
