she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
