You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
