Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
