He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
