Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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