weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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