Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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