i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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