if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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