I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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