I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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