We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Randomize
