My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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