You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
