she was so not down for the gang bang
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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