i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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