I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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