I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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