I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no, he came in my armpit
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We're too hungover to prance.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
