She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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