Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
