Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
