yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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