I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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