did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
