Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
