i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
