if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
