Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
