This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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