ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
