So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
