I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
