He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
