yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
