No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
