Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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