your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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