i already hear my dad disowning me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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