So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
