oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
