He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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