Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
