can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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