At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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